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W.VA 10/4/2004
Q: How do they celebrate Halloween in West Virginia?
A: They pumpkin!!!
1 Comments, 20 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Wallmart Greeters 9/28/2004
Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time and
>one turns to the other asking,
"Jim, I'm 73 years old and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you are
>about my age. How do you feel?'
Jim says, " I feel just like a new born babe."
Rather amazed his coworker repeats his statement in the form of a question,
"Really? A new born babe???"
"Yup", ...
1 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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Brains 9/28/2004
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles
while taking a bath.
<br>
"Mama, " he asked, "Are these my brains?"
<br>
Mama answered, "Not yet."
1 Comments, 14 Views,
0 Votes
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Brains 9/28/2004
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?"
Mama answered, "Not yet."
1 Comments, 29 Views,
0 Votes
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Getting F-CKED 9/27/2004
There are 3 dudes and a woman on a island. The woman has no arms or legs. So she tells the 1st dude Ive never been hugged before so he hugs her. 1 hour later she tells the 2nd dude Ive never been kissed before so he kisses her. Another hour later she tells the 3rd dude Ive never been f-cked before so he picks her up walks over to the ocean and throws her in and says now your F-CKED...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Sugar Sweet! 9/27/2004
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked, `If I understand, you`re saying there is a lot of glucose in male semen as in sugar?` `That`s correct,` responded the professor, going
on to add statistical information. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, `Then why doesn`t it taste sweet?` After a stunned silence, the ...
1 Comments, 15 Views,
0 Votes
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Misdewiener 9/27/2004
Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
0 Votes
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Honey, pack your bags! 9/27/2004
A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs...
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband says, "Holy Sh*t! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."
1 Comments, 10 Views,
0 Votes
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THE MAGICIAN 9/27/2004
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
He had a different audience each week, so he allowed himself
to perform the same act over and over again.
There was only one problem. The captain's parrot saw the
shows each week and began to understand how the magician
did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of every
show, "Look, that's not ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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The Stingy Husband 9/27/2004
There was a man who had worked all of his life
and had saved all of his
money. He was a real miser when it came to his
money. He loved money more
than just about anything, and just before he
died, he said to his wife, "Now
listen, when I die I want you to take all my
money and place it in the
casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to
the after life."
So he got his wife ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
0 Votes
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talcum powder 9/26/2004
>One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of
the drawer. "What the hell?" he said to himself
as a little "dust" cloud appeared when >he
shook them out. "April, " he hollered into
the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in >my
underwear?" She shot back, "It's not talcum
powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'." >
> >Go ahead and laugh
1 Comments, 23 Views,
26 Votes
,7.02 Score
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Jack & Jill 9/23/2004
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's
fanny, Jack got a shock & a mouth full of cock cus Jill's
a fucking tranny.
1 Comments, 84 Views,
23 Votes
,2.89 Score
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Firm It Up 9/23/2004
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his
wife, pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed
this up, we could get rid of your control-top pantyhose."
<br>
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.
<br>
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each
of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these
up, we ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
15 Votes
,6.35 Score
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rectum stretcher 9/21/2004
rectum stretcher
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
This guy is flying down the road, and he comes over a bridge.
Sure
enough,
a
cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the bridge
and pulls
him
over.
<br>
The cop walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's
the hurry?"
<br>
The guy says, "I'm late for ...
1 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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FRIEND vs. BEST FRIEND 9/16/2004
A FRIEND WILL HELP YOU MOVE, YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL HELP YOU
MOVE A BODY.
1 Comments, 121 Views,
18 Votes
,2.99 Score
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Used car Lot 9/14/2004
> > Used car Lot <<It was a small town and the
patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking
a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting
in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing
the car. One said, "Heavens no, we bought it today."
He said, "Then why don't you drive it away?"
The other said "We can't drive." He said,
"Then why ...
1 Comments, 25 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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God Damned Flies 9/10/2004
A bum in and alley, waving his hands around swearing "
god damned flies"
When a man of the cloth happens by and is unhappy hearing
the lords name used in such a way. "hey there fella
dont use the lords name vain like that, dont you know that
all things are put on this earth for a reason".
Bum; "bah! god damned flies....."
"listen" says the preacher" I dont want
to lecture you as it ...
1 Comments, 13 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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WAL-MART Job Application 9/7/2004
WAL-MART Job Application...
<br>
<br>
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior
submitted
to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. And they hired him because he was
so honest
and funny!
<br>
NAME: George Martin
<br>
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one
who'll
cooperate).
<br>
DESIRED POSITION: ...
1 Comments, 28 Views,
77 Votes
,8.35 Score
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Another blonde joke! 9/4/2004
What does a blonde and a screen door have in common? Answer:
The harder you slam them, the looser they get.
1 Comments, 11 Views,
77 Votes
,3.36 Score
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Golf Joke 8/26/2004
A guy walks into the emergency room, all beat up, with a 5
iron wrapped around his neck. The nurse sees him and asks,
"What happened to you?"
"Well, " he says, "it all started innocently
enough. My wife and I were golfing at the club, and we both
sliced our drives on the fourth hole into a cow pasture.
We found my ball right away, but had trouble finding her
ball."
"Go on, " the nurse ...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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how do you kill a blonde 8/25/2004
how do you kill a blonde?put a scratch and sniff at the bottom
of a pool.
1 Comments, 71 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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Monica 8/23/2004
Monica Lewinky got out of the shower, looked in the mirror
and said, "God, if only I could lose these love handles!"
As soon as she said it, lightning ripped across the night
sky, the house shook with thunder, and......
<br>
her ears fell off.
1 Comments, 18 Views,
22 Votes
,5.29 Score
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Small Dicks 8/20/2004
Okay small dicks or dicks less than 4inches does not mean
they cant pleaser you they always have there mouth!
0 Comments, 77 Views,
75 Votes
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Jake and Becky 8/20/2004
Jake was dying.
His wife, Becky, was maintaining
a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his
fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her
praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and
his pale lips began to move slightly.
"Becky my darling, " he whispered.
"Hush my love, " she said. "Rest, don't
talk."
He was insistent. "Becky, " he said in his tired
...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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emotion party 8/18/2004
A girl is throwing a party. "Dress up as your favorite
emotion." One couple shows up dressed in green. "We're
green with envy." Another gouple shows up looking
like Smurfs. "We're blue with depression."
So a guy shows up, totally naked except for a bowl of custard
strapped around his waist. "What emotion are you
supposed to be?" asks the surprised hostess.
<br>
...
1 Comments, 77 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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How nice!! 8/13/2004
Here is a story about a southern bells have a sip tea one summer
afternoon.
Lets call them Betty and SueAnn.
<br>
Betty: You know SueAnn my husband just bought me a new diamond
ring, Do you like it??
<br>
Sue Ann: "HOW NICE" A few minutes later
<br>
Betty: You know SueAnn, my husband just bought me a new Lexus,
Do You like it??
<br>
...
1 Comments, 32 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
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Preist joke 8/8/2004
A priest was giving confessions, when he had to go use the
restroom. He saw an alterboy and asked him to come and sit
in for him while he was gone. The priest told him to give as
many Hail Marys, or Our Father's as he thought was right
for the sin. Everything was going fine til a woman came in
and confessed to giving her husband a blow-job. The alterboy
didn't know what to tell the woman. ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
24 Votes
,4.83 Score
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Seems innocent enough 8/6/2004
There were three defendants, the D.A. and a Judge. The judge
walks into the court room to start proceedings. Judge said
"O.k who is my first case?"
D.A. says " Miss Roxy Jay"
Judge "What is she charged with?"
Judge looks down and see the offense. His eyes raise slowly
Judge" Miss Jay you are charged with...." He
gets a confused look on his face "blowing bubbles
in the park????"
...
1 Comments, 163 Views,
6 Votes
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Two Scotts stumble out of a bar... 7/30/2004
Two Scotts stumble out of a bar and see a sheep with it's
head stuck in a fence. One guy says to the other, "
I think I'll have a go at it!" When he's done,
he turns to his buddy and says, " Now it's your
turn!" So his friend shrugs his shoulders, drops
his pants and sticks his head in the fence!
1 Comments, 317 Views,
31 Votes
,4.49 Score
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what's the difference between a blonde and a parrot? 7/10/2004
What is the difference between a blonde and a parrot?? You
can teach the parrot to talk, but you can't teach the
blonde to shut up!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
15 Votes
,4.36 Score
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