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A time piece with a difference 6/6/2007
One day, back in the olden days, a cowboy was crossing the
desert to do some trading and came upon an Indian. The Indian
was laying on his back and had an erection that stuck straight
up in the air. The cowboy asked the Indian what he was doing. The Indian replied, "Me tell-um time." This
made sense to the cowboy, he was using his penis as a sundial.
A few days later, after completing his ...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Extra Large Condoms 6/6/2007
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if
he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around
here until someone does?
2 Comments, 80 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Sign Language 6/6/2007
Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage,
they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom
when they turn the lights off because they can't see
each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,
the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey, "
she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple
signals? For instance, at night, if ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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An Accidental Encounter 6/6/2007
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
I'm in room ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Take Careful Aim 6/6/2007
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his
rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show
him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This
scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that
hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Desparate Measures 6/6/2007
A couple were having financial problems until finally
they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to
his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money
through to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the
job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband
asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've
made one ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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At The Counsellor's Office 6/6/2007
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor.
The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature
ejaculation." The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires "Is
that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's
her that suffers not me."
0 Comments, 32 Views,
1 Votes
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Mailmans last day 6/6/2007
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the
same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted
by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent
him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine
cigars. The folks at the third house handed ...
3 Comments, 83 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
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There was a guy riding through the desert 6/6/2007
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He
had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have
sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man
turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but
the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and
got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling
the urge to have sex ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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The Romantic Husband 6/6/2007
Husband and wife in bed together. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast. She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg. She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops. She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found ...
1 Comments, 159 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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road 6/6/2007
why did bubba cross the road? his dick was stuck in the chicken
0 Comments, 18 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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a lady to smart to fall for the old routine! 6/6/2007
the pickup truck coasted to a stop by the edge of the road
"we're out of gas "said the young man smiling
wickedly "yeah i thought you just might be "the
girl replied pulling a flask from her purse "yeah
baby the young man exclaimed ehat have you got? vodka? gin?
whiskey? the girl smiled wide "89 octane unleaded"
0 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Angry Sex 6/6/2007
A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having
severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked
her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear
picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's
face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I did once." "Well, how did he look?" "Very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really ...
0 Comments, 87 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Irishman & the Blonde 6/6/2007
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island
for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought
to himself, "It's certainly too small to be a
ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small
boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black
clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba ...
0 Comments, 64 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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POEM! 6/6/2007
A man making the Bar scene, was fairly intoxicated when
he went into a popular night spot. The bartender refused
to serve him and told him he should go home.
Man: My wife will kill me.
Bartender: Take her some candy.
Man: She is on a diet.
Bartender: Take her some flowers.
Man: She has allergies.
Bartender: Tell her a poem.
Man: She ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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fairytales 6/6/2007
what is the difference between a northern fairytale and
a southern fairytale? a northern fairlytale begins with
"once upon a time" and a southern fairytale
begins with".. "Y'all ain't gonna
believe this shit"
0 Comments, 14 Views,
0 Votes
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salt lick 6/6/2007
a rancher has a bull that won't breed cows in the heard
his vet gives him a medicated salt lick for the bull to try
the first time the bull licks the block of salt the bull immediatly
fucks every cow in the pasture while continuing to use the
salt lick the bull jumps the fences crosses into other ranches
and fucks everything he can mount amazed a neighbor asks
the rancher what is in the salt ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
0 Votes
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scream twice 6/6/2007
how do you make woman scream twice? fuck her in the ass and
wipe your dick on curtains
0 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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fuck or swim 6/6/2007
bill was sitting in a bar when john came in with a big smile
on his face bill asked what was going on and john replied
well you know that new boat i got? bill yeah john well i was
out cleaning it and this beautiful blonde walked by and
told me that was the nicest boat she had ever seen so i asked
her if she wanted to go for a ride sure she says so we went out
to the lake and when we got to the ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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two wrongs 6/5/2007
two wrongs don't make a right but two wrights make any
aeroplane
0 Comments, 23 Views,
0 Votes
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rolling the dice 6/5/2007
two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table a
very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand
dollors ($20, 000)on a single roll of the dice she said
i hope you don't mind but i feel much lukier when i'm
completely nude with that she stripped from the neck down
rolled the dice and yelled come on baby mama needs new clothes!
as the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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lol 6/5/2007
what about the irish magician he couldnt pull a rabbit out of a hat so he pulled hare out of his ass lol
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
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rid of it 6/4/2007
one morning while making breakfast a man walks uo to his
wife and pinches her on her but and says "you know if
you firmed this up we could we could get rid of your girdle
while this was on the edge of intolerable she thought to
herself better and replied with silence the next morning
the man woke his wife with a pinch ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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a test for dementure 6/4/2007
A TEST FOR DEMENTURE below are 2 questions you have to answer
them instantly you can't take your time answer all
of them immediately OK? let's find out how clever you
are..... ready? GO!!! (scroll down) first question you
are participating ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
1 Votes
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sick chinese man 6/4/2007
chinese man rings his boss.... me no work i sick boss syas
when im sick i fuck my wife try it? 2 hours later chinese man
rings back m e better, u got nice house!!
0 Comments, 53 Views,
0 Votes
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tatoo 6/4/2007
man walks into a tatoo parlor and says he wants $100 bill
tatooed on his dick why ask the tatooer i like to play with
my money i like to watch my money grow best of all if my wife
wants to a $100 she can stay home and do it
0 Comments, 46 Views,
0 Votes
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6/4/2007
A florida couple both certified rednecks had nine ....
they went to the doctor to see about getting the husband
"fixed" the doctor agreed to do the required
procedure and asked them after nine why would
you choose to do this..... the husband replied that they
had read in recent article that one out of every ten being
born in north america was mexican and they didn't want
a mexican baby ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
0 Votes
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a little testy 6/4/2007
a women went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the
doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for
her she was a little worried about some of the side effects
she was experiencing Doctor the hormones you've been
giving me have really helped but i'm afraid that you're
giving me to much i've started growing hair in places
that i've never grown hair before the doctor reassurued
her a ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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best friend 6/4/2007
a guy walks into a bar and orders a triple shot of wild turkey
the bar tender says man thats a strong shot is something
wrong the man says yes i found my wife in bed with my best friend
the bar keep says wow thats bad here have one on me the bar
keep looks at him do you mind if i ask what you did to them the
guy says well i told her to pack her shit and get out the bar
keep says good going thats ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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password 6/4/2007
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer
and asked him what word he would like to use as a password
to log in with >br> wanting to embarrass his new secretary
a bit and let her know where they stood he smugly told her
to enter 'penis' >br> without blinking
or saying a word she entered the password she then almost
died laughing at the computers response >br> ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
0 Votes
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